Categories

A milonga is musically structured around “tandas” (sets) and “cortinas” (literally: curtains). A “tanda” is a set of three or four pieces of music by the same orchestra, traditionally consisting of four tangos by the same orchestra, or three milongas, or three vals. (The classic sequence is: two tandas of tango, one tanda of waltz, two tandas of tango, one tanda of milonga…) A tanda ends with a break piece (“cortina”) of a completely different character (e.g., a salsa, a rock song, a folk song…) that is usually only played briefly: it merely marks the end of the tanda. During the „cortina“, the dancer will escort his partner back to her table, and look for a new partner for the next tanda. Thus the first rule is: After every tanda, there is a change of partners! This creates the distinctive dynamic in the milongas of Buenos Aires that I often miss in European milongas. And it also fosters the aforementioned attention to the other dancers. (An exception applies if you come as a couple or with a taxi dancer and only want to dance with each other; that is, of course, possible.) Good to know: In the milongas of Buenos Aires, music other than tango is also played. There is often a rock ’n roll tanda, an Argentine folk music tanda (chacarera and zamba), and/or a Latin music tanda, such as salsa, bachata, or cumbia. These other tandas are usually danced to by most Argentinians with great enthusiasm.

The invitation to a tanda is made through eye contact: the so-called cabeceo on the man’s part (a slight nod of the head) or the mirada (an inviting glance) on the woman’s part. It is considered extremely rude to approach a woman’s table and ask her directly (verbally) to dance. That would be close to harassment, as a rejection would then be very obvious and offensive. An invitation via eye contact, on the other hand, is much more discreet: both parties have the option of not accepting the invitation without embarrassing the other. As a woman, I can simply look away if I don’t want to accept an invitation, and the man can do the same in response to a woman’s mirada. Traditionally, it is common for the man to make the first move: men often get up from their seats in the “cortina” to actively seek out a new dance partner for the next round. Women, on the other hand, remain seated and wait for the next invitation—or try to attract a specific dancer by actively looking around. It’s good to know, however, that these rules are changing in many places. If you know each other, women can also approach dancer friends, chat with them, or invite them to a tanda. In some milongas, it’s now encouraged for women to ask men to dance, or there are one or more tandas with “ladies’ choice.”

Once you have accepted an invitation to a tanda—or, as the leader, sent such an invitation via a “cabeceo”—it’s almost mandatory to dance the entire tanda (i.e., three or four songs) with that person. Breaking off a tanda is a serious affront to your partner and should only be done in the case of inappropriate behavior on their part (i.e., inappropriate touching or lecturing on the dance floor, which is a “no go” in a Milonga). Otherwise, the rule is: No matter how well or poorly the other person dances, you must dance this tanda to the end. That’s why it’s advisable to watch how someone dances before accepting or sending out an invitation. Experienced tango dancers therefore start the evening by carefully observing the dance floor and deciding for themselves who they’d like to dance with and who they’d prefer to avoid. From this and other rules, it follows that there is much more attention for the dance floor than in our culture: Every dancer is closely observed and “assessed” to determine whether he or she is a potential candidate for the next tanda. This also means: The better you dance, the better dance partners you will attract. It is therefore particularly worthwhile to invest in perfecting your own dancing—I will report on exceptions in individual milonga reviews. That is why, as a follower, it’s especially important to have a good opening dance partner so that you will have the opportunity to showcase your own dancing skills right from the start. If necessary, it can be helpful to hire a taxi dancer for the first few hours of a milonga (see the corresponding section about taxi dancers on this website).

This applies to both genders: Men should take the initiative, walk around and ask women to dance even if they aren’t sitting within their line of sight, once they’ve identified them as good dancers. And if I, as a woman, realize that I’ve been assigned a really unfavorable spot (which, unfortunately, is quite common if you aren’t part of the regular crowd), then I move around and position myself where I’m more likely to get asked to dance—for example, at the bar or near the entrance to the dance floor. Of course, it also helps to start a conversation with someone using a casual line, say at the bar, which naturally requires some knowledge of Spanish. But that was the lesson I learned on my first trip anyway: You should speak or learn some Spanish if you want to enjoy Argentina, because not many people here speak English or other foreign languages.

It is considered extremely rude to criticize or lecture your dance partner at a milonga, or to offer anything other than positive feedback. This is appropriate in lessons, courses, workshops, and prácticas, but not at a Milonga. Milongas are meant for having fun and enjoying yourself. Compliments and flattery (“chamuyos”) are therefore welcome, but not lectures. Anyone who breaks this rule risks being left standing by his partner during a tanda after she has asked him to stop once or twice. I have done this a few times myself.

The individualistic pursuit of personal expression on the dance floor without regard for fellow dancers—a practice we’re familiar with from European Milongas—is not at all appreciated in Buenos Aires! Here, the idea is that you don’t just dance with your partner, but with everyone on the dance floor, and that also means: You show consideration for others, pay attention to maintaining the ‘ronda’ (i.e. the line of dance) and keep the dance flowing. Colliding with other couples is not well received at all! For women, this means: on a crowded dance floor, boleos, ganchos, and other moves that involve lifting your high heels off the ground are off-limits! Nine cm stiletto heels are a dangerous weapon, as many of us have surely experienced in a painful the way. If the dance floor is crowded, keep your feet firmly on the ground! Later, when the dance floor has cleared out, you can dance more expressively again.